Thomas the Orca

There once was an orca whale named Thomas. He was a happy whale, until, one day, an iceberg broke apart and killed his whole family. Filled with rage, Thomas took up arms against the icebergs, vowing revenge on every last piece of ice on the earth. At first, he tried ramming them with his great orca strength. It was of no use. Second, he tried biting them with his sharp orca teeth. Again, he failed, shaming himself and the memory of his dead family. Finally, he went to the humans, and convinced them to start building things -- lots of things -- and then use those things liberally -- all the time. He told them to never stop making, never stop consuming, never, never, never stop. The humans were inspired by Thomas’ words, and they took them to heart. They made the automobile, and drove it all the time, just because it was fun. They made airplanes, and flew them around to their hearts content. They made bombs, and missiles, and nuclear reactors, and there was much joy in the world. The people were oh so happy.

And so was Thomas. Within time, the icecaps began to melt, and the icebergs began to crack up. Thomas paid the last iceberg a visit one day, after the third World War had pretty much done away with all the ice on the planet.
“How are you holding up?” The orca said.
“Not good”, said the iceberg, “My core is hot, and my feet are melting.”
“You’re dying?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so.” Then the iceberg began to cry. Thomas felt uncomfortable. He knew this was all his doing. He put a flipper on the sad iceberg’s shoulder and whispered to him softly.
“Go to hell, you icy motherfucker”.

The End